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Can someone help me with my personal narrative, please?

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At the age of 13, I became a man. I had waited for what seemed like forever! I remember my dad going hunting and never allowing me to join. He said I needed to wait until I was 13. When that day came, I was thrilled and anxious at the same time. My dad taught me everything to prepare for my first deer hunt: how to clean my gun, load it, and shoot it. I went on several hunting trips to observe how it was done.

The night before, I got all my things ready for the big day. I placed my gun, shells, and cases by the front door. I packed my headlight, knife, game calls, hunting gear, and other items I thought I might need. I grabbed a few snacks, threw them in my bag, and placed it by the door. It was time to lay down because we had to wake up at 4 in the morning. I told my parents goodnight and then went up to my room. All I could think about was hunting. I imagined myself killing a 10-point buck. I could see my dad's face filled with pride. I did not want to disappoint him or mess this up. I went over everything he had ever taught me in my head. I just kept thinking about how I wanted to make him so proud. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep. The excitement and fear were almost too much to bear.

The next morning, my dad woke me up, telling me it was time to get up. I ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, grabbed my things, and headed out the door. We got in the truck and headed to the camp. We had 57 miles to reach the boat landing. I put my headphones on and gazed out the window, trying not to stress about the entire trip. I kept telling myself that I had prepared for this moment my entire life and that I was not going to let my dad down. As I looked over at my dad, he had a smile on his face as he drove to Butte La Rose. I couldn't help but think about how proud he was going to be.

We finally arrived at the boat landing. I grabbed all my things and proceeded toward the boat. I always helped dad dock the boat. He would let me drive it off the trailer and into the water while he pulled the truck up. I had done it so many times that it came naturally to me. After dad parked the truck, he got in the boat. We had a 45-minute ride to the camp, which could only be reached by boat. As we got closer, my palms became sweaty, and my heart raced. I didn't want dad to see me nervous because then he might think I wasn't ready. I had been ready for this my whole life.

We got to the camp and unloaded all our things. Dad asked if I was ready to make our first hunt. I looked at him and hesitantly said yes. He could hear the fear in my voice. He then looked at me and said, "Hey, you have been preparing for this your whole life! You got this, buddy!" I looked up at him, smiled, and said, "You are right, Dad! I got this!" We grabbed our guns and ammunition and started walking toward the deer stand. Dad had built the deer stand with his bare hands two years ago. We climbed up the deer stand and sat and waited. It was quiet! You could hear the leaves crunch when an animal walked on them. My hands trembled as I held my gun. I was ready! I was ready to shoot my first deer.

After waiting in the deer stand for nearly 5 hours, we didn't see anything besides squirrels, rabbits, and birds. Dad could see the disappointment on my face. He said, "Buddy, we are going to come back tomorrow morning and give it another shot." Besides, I knew that the early morning was the best time to go deer hunting because that is when they are most active. We grabbed our guns and went back to the camp to eat and rest until the next morning.

The following morning came quickly. Early morning is when the deer start moving. We had breakfast, then walked out the door. When deer hunting, silence is extremely important since any type of noise or smell will frighten the deer away. I climbed into the deer stand, sat, and waited. I began to become discouraged because I had not seen anything. Then I heard a shot and as I turned my head, there it was—the biggest doe I had ever seen. I picked up my gun, looked through my scope, and closed my eyes as I pulled the trigger. Before I could open my eyes, my dad screamed, “You got him, buddy! You killed your first deer!” I was so excited and relieved. The smile on my dad’s face was priceless. We then carried the deer back to the camp and took pictures. That was the best day of my life.

Answer :

Final answer:

The student's personal narrative is about a hunting trip with their father, symbolizing their rite of passage into manhood. The story includes themes of growth, anticipation, and familial bonds, which are reflected in various other hunting narratives.

Explanation:

The passage describes a student's personal narrative of joining their father on a deer hunting trip, a significant coming-of-age experience for them. Through the experience, the student feels a mix of excitement and pressure to succeed and make their father proud. The student's preparation, the wait, the eventual success in hunting, and the joy it brings to both father and son are central to the narrative. The personal growth and connection between the father and child are underscored throughout the experience, signifying the transition from childhood to maturity.

Similar narratives explored in provided references portray hunting and the relationship between the hunter and the natural world. The excerpts observe various aspects of hunting, including the solitude of the hunter, the anticipation of the hunt, the significant steps of the process, and the connection to the environment.

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Rewritten by : Barada

Answer:

At the age of 13 is when I became a man. I lingered for what seemed like forever! I remember my dad going hunting, he would never allow me to go. He stated I needed to wait until I was 13. That day came, and I was so thrilled and anxious at the same time. My dad taught me everything to help me prepare for my first deer hunt. He taught me how to clean my gun. How to load it, and how to shoot it. I went on several hunting trips to observe how it is done.

The night before I got all my things ready for the big day. I got my gun, the shells, and the cases by the front door. I packed my headlight, knife, game calls, hunting gear, and other items I thought I might need. I grabbed a few snacks, threw them in my bag, and placed them by the door. It was time for me to go lay down. I told my parent's goodnight and then went up to my room. All I could think about was hunting. I imagined myself killing a ten-point buck. I could see his face filled with pride. I did not want to disappoint my dad and I did not want to disappoint myself. I went over everything my dad had ever taught me in my head. I just kept thinking about how I wanted to make my dad so proud. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep. The excitement and fear were nearly too much to bear.

I was woken up by my dad in the morning, telling me it was time to get up. I ate breakfast and brushed my teeth. I grabbed my things then headed out the door. We got in the truck and headed to the camp. We had 57 miles before we reached the boat landing. I put my headphones on and gazed out the window. I was trying not to let myself stress about the entire trip. I just kept telling myself that I prepared for this trip my entire life and that I was not going to let my dad down. As I looked over at my dad, he had a smile on his face as he was driving to Butte La Rose. I couldn't help but think about how proud he was going to be.

We finally arrived at the boat landing. I grabbed all my things and proceeded towards the boat. I always helped dad to dock the boat. He would let me drive it off the trailer and into the water while he pulled the truck up. I had done it so many times that it came naturally to me. After dad parked the truck, he got in the boat. We had a 45-minute ride to the camp. The only way to get to the camp was to take a boat. As we got closer to the camp, my palms became sweaty, and my heart was racing. I didn't want dad to see me nervous because then he wouldn't think I was ready. I have been waiting for this my whole life. We got to the camp and unloaded all our things. Dad asked me if I was ready to make our first hunt. I looked at him and hesitantly said yes. He could hear the fear in my voice. He then looked at me and said " hey, you have been preparing for this your whole life! You got this buddy!" I looked up at him while smiling and saying You are right dad! I got this! We grabbed our guns and our ammunition and started walking towards the deer stand. Dad built the deer stand with his bare hands two years ago. We climbed up the deer stand and sat and waited. It was too quiet! You could hear the leaves crunch when an animal would walk on them. My hands were trembling as I held my gun. I was ready! I was ready to shoot my first deer.

After waiting in the deer stand for nearly 5 hours, we didn't see anything besides squirrels, rabbits, and birds. Dad could see the disappointment in my face. He said buddy, we are going to come back tomorrow morning and give it another shot. Besides, I knew that the early morning was the best time to go deer hunting because that is when they are most active. We grabbed our guns and went back to the camp to eat and rest until the next morning.

The following morning came quick. Early morning is when the deer start moving. We consumed breakfast then walked out the door. When deer hunting, silence is extremely important since any type of noise or smell will frighten the deer away. I climbed into the deer stand, sat, and waited. I began to become discouraged because I had not seen anything. Then I heard a shot and as I turned my head there it was. The biggest doe I had ever seen. I picked up my gun, looked through my scope, and closed my eyes as I pulled the trigger. Before I could open my eyes, my dad screamed, “you got him, buddy! You killed your first deer!” I was so excited and relieved. The smile on my dad’s face was priceless. We then carried the deer back to the camp and took pictures. That was the best day of my life.

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