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Answer :
In the second version, the wordy and indirect constructions that have been eliminated are "It should be noted that", "Achieve a reduction in" and "And a promotion of".
"It should be noted that" has been replaced with "Note that." This change removes unnecessary introductory language and gets straight to the point.
"Achieve a reduction in" has been replaced with "reduce." This change eliminates unnecessary verb usage and simplifies the sentence.
"And a promotion of" has been eliminated entirely. This removal streamlines the sentence by removing redundant information.
By making these revisions, the second version of the sentence becomes more concise and direct. It eliminates unnecessary words and phrases, resulting in a clearer and more straightforward statement. The use of active voice in the second version also contributes to the overall conciseness and clarity of the sentence.
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