Middle School

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To create a well-structured personal narrative, consider the following guidelines:

**Title:**
DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

**Introduction:**
A death of a loved one can affect people differently. Some deal with emotional, mental, even physical impacts, and sometimes all three. When I was only 16 years old, just two days after my birthday in the year 2002 during the 12th grade, I ended up losing my grandma to cancer. The doctors had already informed my family that it was a possibility our grandma wouldn't be able to make it through this process. The sad part was, I was the last one to know anything that was going on with her. I guess my family was trying to protect me, in other words, shield me from knowing.

**Body Paragraphs:**
I visited her a few times, and each time, my grandma was changing before my eyes. I really didn't expect to see her like this. I couldn't imagine what the treatment was doing to her body or her mind. The woman in front of me, who had raised me most of my life, was dying in front of me. I remember one time I went to see her, and she looked directly at me. I couldn't see her like that, so I ended up turning my head. She probably wanted to say something to me and probably couldn't say it. I was trying to be strong, at least I thought I was, until the day she came home. That day never came. The day that changed my life forever was when they announced she had passed. I couldn't believe it, or maybe I just didn't want to. I was unprepared for this. Those words, "she had passed," were not ones I expected to hear anytime soon, but it was true. She had passed, and I didn't even get a chance to tell her I loved her or give her a warm hug. She had suffered enough through this sad process, and she didn't have to suffer anymore; she was at peace at last. And for me, I wouldn't be able to see her ever again. This truly became a part of me without me knowing.

My family wanted to keep me at home from school to grieve, but I really thought I was fine. I thought I could continue going to school. I ended up getting in trouble in school, church, and even at home more than a few times. I couldn't do my schoolwork or anything that had to do with school. I even ended up becoming very rude to people, whether I knew them or not. I just didn't want to listen to what anybody had to say. It seemed like a hard patch and a definitely hard pill to swallow. My hope stopped existing when she left this world. Losing her affected me in so many ways. I stopped going to church because my mind would place visions in my head of seeing her in the casket she was buried in. I just couldn't do church for the longest time; the vision of seeing her in front of the altar scared me. I knew I shouldn't be scared, but I was. Even today, I'm still affected by it; I haven't let go. It definitely truly plays a part in my everyday life. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and miss her dearly. I just can't move on without her. I learned so much from her, and I definitely know she's looking down on me, smiling. I just know for a fact she is very proud of the woman I have grown up to become.

**Conclusion:**
I just wanted her to be here for when I graduate, go off to college, my first marriage, my first child, and so much more. I believe my life would have been more at ease if it wasn't for her passing, probably. The only thing I have now is memories and her smile. Maybe one day, we will see each other again, hopefully. You never know what to expect, but cherish every moment you have with any of your loved ones. We never think that one day we will lose them. Days like these come with side effects; it's unbearably painful experiences. It's a hard challenge for anyone. We all take life for granted. Moments like this never go away. It doesn't matter how you look at it, especially for a better outcome, nobody wishes this on their worst enemy. I guess we all want to live and never die. We are never here to live forever.

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This revision provides clear structure and corrects grammar and spelling errors, making the narrative more readable and coherent.

Answer :

God this is breathtaking and painful to read at the same time. It’s beautiful let me tell you. I think everything is good but you could make it so much better. The writing is out of focus in some sentences and the ideas seem to jump around. You need a constant structure through the whole story. For example:

“Some deal with emotional, mental, and even physical disturbances within one self. When I was only 16 years of age, two days after my birthday in the year 2002 I found myself saddened by my grandmother’s death. The doctor told my family members and me that grandma wasn’t going to make it through and recover like we had thought. What seems saddening is that I was the last person to know of this horrendous news. I suppose my family was trying to protect me by shielding my eyes to the truth of the matter.”

This is a small fracture of your story but transformed in a way that the ideas flow more smoothly. If you want me to keep editing this story for you I’d be happy to help :)

Thanks for taking the time to read To create a well structured personal narrative consider the following guidelines Title DEATH OF A LOVED ONE Introduction A death of a loved one can. We hope the insights shared have been valuable and enhanced your understanding of the topic. Don�t hesitate to browse our website for more informative and engaging content!

Rewritten by : Barada